Am I crazy?
Jesus,…that was an exclamation. Haaa! Omo mehn,…just let me keep shouting. I think I'm going crazy. Crazy for Jesus, of course. Even though other factors in my environment can actually drive me mad…like the people. Them aside though, it's crazy how I'm falling in love with this God. If I talk now I'll probably sound crazy and you may not even get my madness sef, but that's fine.
My situation is not in the best place. And this is not a light statement. A few days back, I was so scared of the nearest future. A lot of things are wrong right now but they are right in God's time. This was exactly what needed to happen for me to become this way and it blows my mind.
**Romans 5:3-4 NLT**
*[3] We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. [4] And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation.*
Days back, people were complaining so much about my school situation. It was bad but it wasn't that bad, they were just exaggerating. The complaining sha got me angry. I kept thinking to myself, “these guys are so ungrateful”, “they don't know anything”, ‘I pray they suffer”.
I felt bitterness and hurt growing in my heart daily as I heard the complaints of others. “Their situations are most likely better than mine yet do you see me complaining!? Bunch of fools”, I thought. It pained me because it wasn't like I could start shouting and complaining about my current situation, what good would that do? And to who? I began to wish their doom,…literally. I prayed they're ignorant selves suffered so they're eyes would open. How careless they were with their words, my hate only grew. But, thank God, I was able to spot this negative change in me. It wasn't helping me, especially not in my devotion. I prayed about it, telling God how unfair it was and is. And it felt like I was better than them, in my thinking and actions, so why!? But that's the thing about grace…
Someone would then wonder why God let the things that happened happen to them. Number one, free will and number two, God's will. I began to understand how God uses the mistakes of others and ours to bring forth His plans and desires for us.
If I didn't experience these things, I wouldn't have a strengthening in my faith. I wouldn't desire the things I do now. My thinking and views would have never changed. And my love for Him would have never grown. When I think about it now, I'm like “Oouuu, that makes sense”. It may not always even make sense.
Besides, the word tells me in Jeremiah 29 that His plans for me are for good and not evil. I have an assurance in Him that my future is covered cuz He's already there. The peace that came upon me one faithful night in the place of prayer was almost magical. I received four scriptures while praying and it gave me comfort, strength, purpose, and hope. The word is truly alive. Do you believe?, dear reader.
People keep asking the wrong questions. Instead of “why didn't God just stop this from happening? Or why couldn't He just prevent this evil happening?” Ask “what is God's will in all of this?” “What is meant to birth in me from all this?” “How does this help my growth?” “What next Lord? What am I to do now?” “How does this bring about the will of God in my life?”.
Things will happen, we live in a fallen world. Sometimes God intervenes, sometimes not. It is not for us to start blaming Him or complaining. It is for us to see His will in all that happens in our lives. Ah, and how fulfilling it is. To know you are always in His will. That's what I call, life insurance and assurance.
You need to ask yourself some questions, the right ones. If not, you let the devil in to twist and corrupt your thoughts and life. I pray the Spirit of the Lord ministers to you all, as He did to me. You are blessed, dear reader. ❤️